Coaching People to Lie is NOT the Solution
In the business and personal world sometimes a difficult situation comes up. It usually comes in the form of failing to deliver on a promise or unexpected circumstances. But what I hate most about people’s reaction is that sometimes they freak out and either they lie or try to get me to lie. Well, sirs and madams, the answer to that is NO! There is a better way.
Lying has it’s place for situations of coercion and war. Relationships in our daily life are not war. Co-workers are not the enemy. What people do is they get in over their head, lie, and make the problem worse. They even setup their enemy to have a better case in litigation should it come to that. Liars and corrupt individuals expose their mental fragility via manipulations and responsibility avoidance in the moment. If caught, they double-down and exacerbate their problem further by destructing the relationship.
That is how people construct a house of cards which could have helped them to see the truth. Instead what they will do is reject the truth in an immature and impossible attempt to gain mastery over reality. It’s works during this time in history because people are using the social capital built up in a time when honor was upheld. What they do is cash in on people’s trust right now and pass the cost along to their replacement or children that will grow up in that environment later on.
The term ‘fail-fast’ came up while I was listening to technical discussions on YouTube. After I researched more I was able to extract some helpful principles contained in it both technically and socially. So the idea is that if a failure occurs in my program I handle it and raise the concern with the user immediately. That way we don’t write files or records if a previous step has failed. When thinking about this socially we can report any failures immediately to co-workers and customers. We stop progress and take the opportunity to learn so that we operate more smoothly in the future. The same concept is contained in British Common Law with the Legal Precedent idea.
If we don’t handle problems they can build up, compound, and collapse a project or social arrangement. The self knowledge we master in this step is that problems are acceptable. It’s fine! It’s not necessarily catastrophic as long as we get it over with quickly. That is one way to learn and how gain the flexibility to adapt.
Things fail all the time. There is no need to allow our underpants to get bunched up over every little thing. Each failure does not have to become a disaster. You will be surprised how understanding and helpful people will be if you report bad news and ask for help. They might even thank you for catching the problem early so it can be dealt with. If we really are a team then act like it and get help before things do actually get worse. The more people who know about a problem the less one individual has to take on if it gets worse.
The genesis of the fear of failure comes from childhood. It is helpful as a child when we are under the thumb of immature adults that unreasonably demand perfection. As an adult there are not as many of these impossible situations and unrealistic expectations like when we are younger. People will allow for some progress so you’re off the hook for perfectionism! When someone does not want you to report a failure it is probably because they have not dealt with fears from the past. It’s their problem and is isn’t fair to coach someone to corruption for it.
Not everyone really wants things to get done. You can sense it all around that people resist progress in any form. If you’re honest you can sense that and get those people out of your life. Really making progress requires that you seize on opportunities even if some people are uncomfortable with it. Who cares if they don’t like the progress you’re making? It’s not for them that you do it. It’s for your success, your family, and others who want to make a difference in life. Push past petty manipulations and achieve.
Freedom is not a state you will just get by default. You will have freedom if you take it for yourself! When you do, all kinds of problems you didn’t think you could solve before will become possible. Some people will resist and they can be defeated. In the black music community they labeled those people ‘haters’ and rightfully so. Haters will hate and get left behind as a result. That is the nature of progress and how you escape the low expectations of a foolish and low achieving peer group.
Thank you for reading and best wishes to you on your journey for success!