Feeding Zombies

How much of your flesh are you willing to feed a zombie with hopes of bringing it back to life?

Zombies represent the people around us who are emotionally callous or abusive towards us. They can also be the type who are indifferent towards our growth and goals in life. I’d like to make the case for why people need to feast on your energy and enthusiasm, why we feed them, and what amazing health and growth you will experience when you quit tossing your flesh down their gullet.

Have you ever been excited to tell someone like a friend or parent that you have this wonderful idea, an amazing discovery, only to be shot down or receive blank stares? How many times has that same pattern repeated? That is one way we feed the zombie, by telling them about our interests and experiences. You having your own thoughts is a sign of life! It will necessarily stimulate the zombie into a frenzy for this newly arrived meal you are offering.

Another way we can feed the unthinking is to focus on improving ourselves. This could be studying, working, or having peaceful alone time to reflect. The careless around us will sense that something is awry, it’s quiet, life is growing, and must be eaten! You can be hounded and redirected away from what you care about if you allow it. If we do not stand up for our time thinking and doing what is good for us it will be consumed.

The attack of the zombie is especially fierce when you have ideas which are controversial or even contradict their irrational superstitions. Since assertions without evidence or reasoning make up the majority of what abusers have filled their head with, speaking about things which do not support their false narratives enrage them!

One such example is when I was presented, at twelve years old, a choice for the first time to be catholic or not. They told me it was because for the ritual of Confirmation I had to make my own decision to carry on with the tradition. I made the choice not to continue with the religion and to pursue my own path. As a sign of independence and living tissue inside my skull the attacks of the community came in the form of manipulative lectures designed to scare me into conformity, disapproval, and culminating in withholding of attention and resources. At the time this was a serious blow because I had been betrayed and abandoned by my father one year prior. I was left with little resources from the family emotionally and materially on my mother’s side.

I had other instances where a controversial topic came up but none were so terrible as when I learned about philosophy and the prevalence of childhood trauma from abuse. I went to seek acknowledgment from my family which showed concern for myself, yet another sign of life that left me open for attack. These particular attacks came in the form of denial of what happened in the past and insults to my character for persisting with my requests for truth. It was their cowardly attempt to normalize their abusive behavior in the past so they could continue feasting on me in the present and well into my future.

We know that standing up for ourselves is a good and courageous thing to do. So why do some of us keep repeating these harmful interactions with those in proximity to us? I think one possibility is deep emotional pain. If we saw the truth that we were not supported the way we wanted and also attacked viciously for our beautiful individuality the pain is too much to bear. Another is biology and just being a human. We need a tribe and having one even if they are zombies feels better than being alone, at least in the short term. Another possibility is that after so much has been taken from us we can believe that we are feeble and not worthy of any other life. It’s not true. Everyone deserves better!

The sad and malicious ones who make these attacks have themselves been attacked. That is where they first learned how to feed on other humans. It’s not inevitable or necessary that someone who was abused must become an abuser. They make that choice to abuse others which is the lid on the coffin which they will arise from without empathy as undead.

Each one of us has the power to change and stop the momentum of zombie degeneration in our community. It’s massively difficult and I’m not recommending that anyone do it. However the benefits of adventuring out to find one’s self and a loving tribe will strengthen and embolden those who do it.

When we acknowledge and heal from trauma we quit feeding our life energy into the dead. We begin to learn to trust our thoughts and feelings. We awaken strength in ourselves which we thought we lost or never had. It seems so unnatural that we would have this amazing physiology and psychology and that it should work against us rather than for us.

Please be careful if you are in in the grips of animated but emotionally dead. If you choose to change your circumstances you will be doing us all a favor. You will contribute to life and growth and show others what an illuminating force a human being can truly be.

Author Tony Crowe, Salt Lake City, UT
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